here I sit

i sit

Here I sit.

On a Saturday evening, in my now 698 gear.  I have exhausted all Tannan upgrades, I have used my Alt Inscriptionist to make the final level up to my Trinket to make it 715.  There is nothing I really need any more.  If I want to get any better gear, my option is Heroic raiding.  I cannot even motivate myself to run the second and third wings of LFR now open to me, let alone the fourth.  What has happened to this game I love so much.  Why do I find myself here alone in my Garrison town hall.

Here I sit

A player that has done so much in game, has tried his hand at everything it has to offer.  Has the expansion been that bad?  No not really.  Yeah it has some major flaws, but still there is much that can be done.  It’s not a lack of flying, or things to do.  I feel like it has become almost stagnant in the course of action we seem to repeat year after year.  Level to cap, run heroic dungeons, raid or PvP, rinse repeat.

So here I sit.

Writing about my thoughts, thinking of what Legion has in store.  I wont roll a demon hunter.  Just not my style of playing.  I tried a Monk, but it was just not me.  I am a Shadowpriest.  It is the one class that felt right to me to play.  I like to think I play it well, even though I am sure there are many others that would think me a scrub.  I am probably good enough to hold a spot on most normal/heroic raid teams.  But this last expansion and a half.  Some time during Heart of Fear, my perspective changed.  I did not like the direction the encounters were being designed.  It was just too much to process mentally.

So here I sit.

I still play every day, even though I may only send out followers to handle missions, I make bags to sell, I help out people in the guild when I can, I sometimes venture out to solo older raids where there is a chance for a mount, even though I know it may take more attempts than most people would ever be willing to try.  I still can find things in the game to do, but the more current things seem to have lost a lot of their luster.

So here I sit.
Not alone per-say, I can see guild chat scrolling by, the comments in General and Trade, the bad jokes, the attempts to troll people.  I don’t really talk much, but I do try to watch what is said, I try to catch that one person asking for help, the new player looking for a guild to call home, people trying to do something old to many, yet they have never seen or done.  I try to answer questions privately, try to offer advice or tips.  I sometimes just make pieces of gear for people not expecting anything in return, just because I hope that it might make someones evening a little better.

So here I sit.

I have tried going back to Ashran, to try to get back into some PvP, to work at replacing the gear I have disenchanted.  To get back into the game.  GOing in, being added to a group scattered all over, riding to find a bunch actually trying to work as a team, coming face to face with not 1, not 2, but 10 or more opposing players, quickly finding myself in a graveyard, having to wait out getting back into the fight because they are camping it and killing people as soon as they rez, finally getting back, racing down roads, only to be cut down again.  No.  It is not a sandbox I wish to play in.  I use to love PvP, could spend hours in random battlegrounds, would be a part of the crowd waiting to gain entry to Wintergrasp, would answer the call for more people in Tol Barad.  But things change.

So here I sit.

Our desires change, the goals we have for ourselves, what we wish would happen.  THe game has gone on for so many years, Orcs vs Humans, Alliance vs Horde.  It has gotten old.  I see we may have a chance to work together, at least as members of the same class, I have hopes of maybe a neutral faction, one that is welcome in all cities, one that can work for either side to win the big battle.  To finally say I am tired of not only you killing me, but of those times I get lucky and am the one killing you.  It gives me no satisfaction knowing that the person on the other side of the monitor is having the same feeling as I am, that maybe they are not good enough.  Or worse, that they feel it necessary to seek out other people to hurt, so that they can feel better.

So here I sit,

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even though there are times I don’t feel I fit.

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