I have probably been doing this writing thing for a great deal of time longer, I have always been active in forums for any games I have played, from being a part of my local gaming store, to participating in a D&D group with thousands of members, to the brief period of time I volunteered as a moderator for Shadowpriest.com, and even tried to help out with the new How to Priest web site. But I did not really fit in there.
I have always tried to offer help, a funny joke, a hug, an ear, anything I could do in game, or out. I have never really thought about doing any of this for myself, I have always found more enjoyment in being able to do some thing to make another persons day a little better. Writing this blog, while it may be critical at times of things happening in the game, or with my character, or any of a hundred different things, has been mostly for me to express the problem, to give me a chance to say the words, to read them, and say yeah, that’s right, I am as mad as hell, and I just said that. And it helps. It helps to say it. And when those couple of people that actually read the nonsense I write, like it, or make a comment, it does not give me validation, or pride, it just gives a feeling that maybe, I am not alone in the world, maybe there is at least one other person that shares in frustration.
Sure I could probably force myself to write about puppies and kittens, and how I think Blizzard is doing a stand up job making a game that millions of people want to throw money at every month. But would it be the truth? No. I think they have created a wonderful experience, that there is something special that came about because it happened at the right time with the right set of circumstances. That over the past few expansions the sub numbers seem to be dropping does not reflect on the group of people I have in my guild. We do not try to put ourselves above anyone else on our connected realm, we do not lock ourselves away from the rest of the people around us. We try to laugh and joke, and just enjoy playing a game. We try our best to not take it so seriously that we lose sight of what it is. For myself and us, well I hope most in the guild, its a place we get to log into, and hang out, and kill internet dragons, challenge ourselves when that is what we want, even just sitting in town hanging out on the bank steps with friends putting out toys. I personally feel that there is a lost focus in the design, I am not a game designer, I do not claim to have any idea what it must be like to design a game, but to also have to run a behemoth of a company such as they have. They have to decide years in advance a direction to take, and any bad decisions won’t be known until it is too late to change course. When people leave, they fill in an exit survey, they answer some stock questions, and someone takes all of that data and tries to figure out what caused them to leave. But honestly? People don’t really know what is that final piece that pushes them away from the game, it is probably the culmination of many factors. And way up that list would have to be loss of friends. I have made a great many friends in my near 8 years, I have seen a great many leave, change faction, change servers, go off to higher level progression guilds, I have seen young men go from being the worst trade trolls sitting in town bored, to some of the best players I know. I have made friends with people much younger than me, a little bit older, and everywhere in between, I have witnessed people grow from their late teens and early 20’s into adulthood, and I have seen the sadness when someone passes from illness. WoW is not real life, but in a way it is a reflection of life, it allows people to be the person they secretly want to be. The person that would not dare take on the responsibility of leading a team in a workplace, may be a great raid leader, the father that feels he is all thumbs and cannot fis a burned out light bulb may be a phenomenal tank able to hold a boss in place and control multiple adds, the person that is quiet and shy in real life may be the person telling the raunchy jokes late at night. And like me, the person that least wanted the job, could be a pretty good guild leader. It is a place where we can experience things that we normally would never consider in our lives. Writing does in a sense for me also. I may never say a tenth of what I may write to people I know. Mostly because they don’t grasp what Warcraft is.
This blog, is a conglomeration of a few blogs I have had over the years. Ones I have started and walked away from, ones I have deleted. I am sure there are probably a dozen or so posts I have made that have gotten lost in the nether. And all of those that have followed the different blogs over the years. I know that my style, do I have a style?, of writing is probably breaking dozens of formatting rules for writing. I stray from topics, I certainly suffer from, Oh look a squirrel syndrome, but it’s me. I don’t plan anything out. I usually think of something to write about on my way to work, or I may hear a song that strikes a chord with something happening in game. There is no rhyme or reason to what I write. I don’t do it to make a living, or to amass a following. I am happy if one person reads this, or if twenty do. I will admit I may smile when I get a WordPress notice that I am getting a lot of traffic. I will admit to checking to see where in the world people are that are reading, and some of the countries really surprise me at times.
Why I stayed here even after I left Twitter for the second time, was I like talking to people. I am certainly willing to answer any comment I get to something I write, and I do try my best to comment on the writing of others. For me, it is the sharing of thoughts and ideas that make this format what it is. When you use it to just put your thoughts to paper, and walk away, it is like you are standing there, making your statement, dropping the mic and moving on. Eventually those that take the time to comment will also. And perhaps that is exactly what many want from their writing, just a place to express their thoughts and words, and they do not really want anyone to reply. I do. It is what keeps me involved. In the end it is talking to people that brought me back to Twitter. Yes I am slowly adding back folks that have commented here, people that I have known for many years that use to engage with me. Communication is a two way street, with ally’s and intersections, and elevators, and stairs to subways. There is no right or wrong way per say to communicate, except to not say anything at all. I doubt I will ever get back to that place I was years ago following thousands, it was a different time, and I was a different person. I do not follow people that necessarily share the same view as me, I try to follow people with different view points. But I have made a choice to not follow people that tend to poke at others, even though they may feel its funny, or that the person has it coming. That way leads to others taking what you say even further, and making those who may disagree uncomfortable. The whole point of being on Twitter of Facebook, or having a blog about video games is to talk about the games we love, even when we may be critical of them.
Well I have talked your ear off for near 1500 words, which for me is a lot. I usually take 10-15 minutes to knock out some thoughts. So here is to #500, and the hopes that I will still be here in another 4 years and talking to you about #1000. Have a great weekend.